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If you have never done anything the slightest bit illegal, forbidden, or taboo: you have never cut corners on your taxes, have never run through a red light in the dead of night, never listened to downloaded music …

If you have never done anything that could possibly be misinterpreted: never asked a lady on a street corner for directions, never helped a friend move their houseplants, never aided a small child in climbing over a fence …

If nobody you know, meet, or work with has ever done anything the slightest bit illegal, or anything that could be misinterpreted …

If you could never be mistaken for anyone who has ever done anything the slightest bit illegal, or anything that could be misinterpreted …

If there is nothing you own, or do, or have access to, that is illegal, or could be misinterpreted, or that another person could covet, loathe, or wish access to …

If nothing you have ever done, or anything you own or have access to, will ever be declared illegal, forbidden or taboo in the future …

If you have never made anybody angry at you …

If nothing you have said or done has ever made the slightest impression on anyone, positive or negative …

If you are not a member of any gender, race, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation that anyone could find in the slightest way objectionable or excessively desirable …

If your personal appearance has never excited the slightest distaste or interest in anyone …